Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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