remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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