Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
