would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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