Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
