these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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