U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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