I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
