I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
