Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
