genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
