did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
