I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
