He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
