She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
