omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
