I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
