He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
