I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
