chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
