someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
