Moan for me like Helen Keller
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
