Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
