Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if only i could text you this smell
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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