Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
