I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
