It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
