great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
