Having a random hookup so left but love u
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
