I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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