Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
