Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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