He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
