I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
