White coat. Heels.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
