There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
