The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize