Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
