im drinking this country out of the recession.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
