I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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