our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
