You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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