We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drake has all the answers
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
