you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
