Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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