i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
