YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
