Duck Duck Cougar?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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