these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
