how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
