tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
