i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
