normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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