Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
