great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
