at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
