why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
