If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
