bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We have started to decorate penises.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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