Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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