I think I am morally bankrupt
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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