I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
